it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
