Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
