Whoa Z and x make the same sound
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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