Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Rumble strips road head = magical
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
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