Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
