i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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