I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
