you told grandpa to call you daddy
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
