dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
