I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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