Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
