How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
