watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
