So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
