I love black thongs
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
