And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
