i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
