I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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