dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
