there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
