I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize