between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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