are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
A bitchslap is in order.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
