Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
