I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize