So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
