No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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