I want to stick my p in your. b.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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