just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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