I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
