At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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