Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sext me about skeletons
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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