Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize