Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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