No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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