He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
