she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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