I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
