i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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