Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just had sex on a roof
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
