He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
