have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize