Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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