plz talk dirty to me
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The dick lei will go down in squad history
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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