This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
