jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
