I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
either way he was missing a nipple.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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