It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
