take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
