Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind