I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
