Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
