he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
