Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
