i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
