I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
