cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
