You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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