I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
