Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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