My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
