I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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