I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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